You Make Me Wanna..

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 20:16:50 GMT

New laptop, fuck yeah!

the pain keep creeping.

Sun, 17 May 2009 05:45:17 GMT

School is out for the summer. I managed to pull B's in all but two classes. Biology Lab I got an A and in Chemistry, big surprise, a C. I don't know how I did it.. but I'm never doing it again. Lol, unless I work a whole lot less next time.

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 02:45:22 GMT

The days seem like they don't have enough time. I can't get the things I need to get done for lack of motivation. I am getting increasingly self conscious of my body and how I look everyday. I am on a continuous path of depression and feel the need to talk to Joel. Its really weird, but I feel he's the furthest thing that still understands me... in a way.I'm torn with everything in my life. I hate everything. I have no interest in anything.

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 16:17:06 GMT

I have problems with myself.

But, you all already know that.

I don't like me.

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 05:55:41 GMT

I will be the queen someday.

Why?

Because I am amazing. Anyone who can have me is lucky.. lucky they were able to open my mind and possibly my heart to get my attention. I give large amounts of love and I can learn to show someone affection. I am caring and I understand. I can comfort and make the world right again. I am everything you could ever need. All I have to give is myself and my love. And I want to give it to you. Am I wrong when I say no one can honestly resist me?

That is why someday I will be the queen. The queen who acquired her king in a lost, fucked up world when he saw the beauty in her.

The beauty in me will flourish.

let me see.

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 06:32:09 GMT

Well I never have plans so I can't tell you what an amazing weekend I'm having because I don't know.
I have the same schedules every week and its work, work, work. School and my job work.

So here I am. Alive.

[:

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 06:51:02 GMT

I've gone from wanting the sex to just wanting that close cuddle feeling that might occur afterwards.
I want to feel the skin to skin touch like when two people rub their legs together..
I want to have that gaze place upon me of pure love and the ability to smile back knowing that I love them too.
I want to hold hands and feel complete.
I want to be done with life just so I know everything turned out okay.

I'm done with this. I'm done with living.

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 06:01:37 GMT

I feel like a lovesick fool just fooling myself. With no where to go and no one to see. I get my hopes up only to find myself fallen right back down. The anger builds manifested from no region.

I like ow songs reids me of what used to be. I get feelings that come up tjrpuhj my soul. Or the area I believe to be in inner feelings. I don't really know where my thoughts come from. I don't realy know what I want to do with my life. I really just wish I was somewhere off in my head. IN a place where I can call it my own where everyone I wanted was there. I didn't have to have a care in the world and I could just relax. I listen to songs such as What Is Love and it reminds me of my past. Feelings that I believe at this point probably weren't even real. I hate how I lost my only muse in life. I would ike to have feeling again. I want someone to love me but I have to be able to love them back. So its not so much that I want love its that I want to love someone.

And I'm keeping all that nonesense right there as it is because I just typed that fucker with my eyes close. Haaaa.

FUCK english and my cats.

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 07:38:28 GMT

So I downloaded a bunch of songs just now and the ONE song I really wanted to listen to was all messed up. ]: Its just the fucking cherry on things.. lol.

So I have one last thing to do for English and all my homework is generally done.. and I'm here avoiding it still.

Basically this is me checking in.

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 07:46:55 GMT

My body has a craving.

Ohwellfuck.

DINNER TIMEZ.

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 00:50:25 GMT

I'm at my 'lunch'. I was suppose to only work till eight, but someone called in so I'm closing.. yay? ]: Oh well. I worked out last night and I'm doing it again tonight! Mandy and I are going to try real hard to keep up some exercising at least four times a week. While I have been losing weight.. I'm still fat and she's actually gained like ten pounds. Lol. You can't tell though, so whatever.

I started school yesterday and here's my schedule:
MWF
Biology 111 Nat. History of Life [Bio Workshop Friday, no lecture]
Government 343 Congress
Chemistry 112 Gen. Chem II

TTH
English 211 Rhetoric of Pop Culture
Math 120 Intermediate Algebra

Monday night I have my Biology lab and Wednesday nights I have my Chemistry lab. Yeeep.

MWF seem fun, but TTH do not. ]: I'm sad. English is a wait and see class.. because she seems okay but there's a whole lot of bitch hidden in there I can tell. Ha.

That's all I really have time to say.. love love love.

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 16:29:49 GMT

I threw up last night.. about five times all together.. because I can't have vicodin. So I ended up taking some Ibuprodsjijghdjk from my grandma. Lol. I kept crying yesterday for whatever reason. I don't really know. I ate things but I threw it all up and on my mom's new carpet. I feel bad...

bah.

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 01:31:24 GMT

I hate this week with all of my being.

Book.

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 01:48:40 GMT

Book meme
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 4 sentences on your LJ along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag five people.

"I found Miss Westenra in seemingly gay spirits. Her mother was present, and in a few seconds I made up my mind that she was trying all she knew to mislead her mother and prevent her from being anxious. I have no doubt she guesses, if she does not know, what need of caution there is. We lunched alone, and as we all exerted ourselves to be cheerful, we got, as some kind of reward for our labours, some real cheerfulness amoungst us."

Tagging:

Anyone who reads this.. I don't know who reads this anymore, lol.

oh, how the world turns.

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 04:53:48 GMT

I think I am going to try and become a psychiatrist.

Wish me luck?

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 14:40:14 GMT

So... we might be going to Dallas, after all, to the most amazing water park to me?

Let me know if you can still go.. blah

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 00:56:06 GMT

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want — good or bad. Or just made up. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

One minute till Midnight..

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 06:11:56 GMT

So. I want a new phone. My current one is slowly dying. I could probably hold onto it for another year, but I really just want a new phone. These phones with keyboards are drawing me in..

Obviously though, that's completely irrelevant. Why talk about a phone when you are supposed to be talking about yourself? Phone is defining who you are!.. fah.

ANYWAY. Sebastian went back to school today/yesterday [17th]. Yay for him.

... Wait. Pause. I have just noticed that this Ad to the right is telling me I have a new crush from Albuquerque. This is the second time this computer has given me something about Albuquerque as if I am from there. The internet obviously has no idea where I live. But does know I am in New Mexico. Lawlz. Silly interwebz.

I would like to have more money. I have to pay for my car I don't drive this month. I really wish that Richard would have told us he wasn't going to be able to pay it on time before it wasn't on time anymore. However, I am going to wait till friday to pay it since that is when I will get paid and it makes me really said to see my account being drained by so much at one time.. so I'll wait for the pillow to be set before I jump off the cliff.

I'm getting fat. But not really.. just sort of bulking up? It's.. not too pleasant to my state mind, because to me it's fat. It's really muscle. However. I do not care. It's bigger. Big is not good. I'mma looka like a man. CRY. Not really, I'm just a whiney bitch.

I really feel like getting rid of everything in my room and just buying a whole new set of shit. All that furniture has got to go. And more than half of all the clothes. I don't wear them. I should sign up for eBay. It doesn't look like I'm setting up a garage sale any time soon. And no, I won't give them away... good money was paid for all this crap, maybe I would like to see some of that come back to us. Rather me. I want more money. Greedy whore.

If anyone see a Sailor Moon R boxset laying around, [Which is Season 2 of Sailor moon, preferably the blue bulky one by ADV with eight DVDs.], PICK IT UP AND BUY IT. Then call me and send it to me and I will some how pay you back. For the love of god, it has been my mission as of a few weeks ago to get that.. and I'm crying inside because I can't find it. [Oh, and season 3 would be nice too. That's Sailor Moon S.] I already have 4 and 5. And 1. ;-;

I think I should go away now this is too much..

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 05:37:58 GMT

I'm alive.

oo_O

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 21:28:58 GMT

I have Rock Band.

My mom is currently singing Flyleaf.

tis the season..

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 15:58:46 GMT

I've been working and having fun, even though it seems odd.. like when they assign eight of us to the quad. o.0;
I go to work tonight at six thirty and stay till close. I hope we have good zoners, because I don't want to be there till one.

I'm done with school till January.. and I can't remember when college starts. I've been accepted to UNM.. even though I probably won't go there. I want to go to NMSU.

and pause.

hmm..

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 19:05:40 GMT

Who made third chair top band?

That's right. Me.

[:

ah ah ah.

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 22:08:38 GMT

You turn over that new leaf. The love you radiate for once is for yourself.
Turn around and the wind is cold. Your love turn hatred is a new best friend.
Gentle kisses are way too distant. Your words speak lies.
Photographs torn and burned show your true colors. Black and grey.

Grow up. Please, I hate you.

By you its meant I.

A few...

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 20:50:52 GMT

This was a quick shoot with no ideas. I look the same in pretty much all of them, but just wait. Lol. .

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 21:48:32 GMT

First day of school! I have Band with Power, American Society with Garcia, Gov/Econ with Jones and Psycology with O'Neil. Then I go home.. till the 22nd where I'll go to English 111 on the hill. THEN I go home.

I have the biggest headache right now. I slept for thirty minutes just now.. but boo.